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Trouble Up

from Zahava by Jordana Talsky

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about

Trouble Up
It is not always apparent when we are struggling behind the wall, especially to our own selves. My experience with anxiety and depression started early, from panic attacks in my teen years to a period of clinical major depression in university and severe binge eating behaviour that lasted several years. This song arose during a time, more recently, when things were ‘going well’ and I ‘should have been’ happy but was unsteady inside and unable to move forward. I resisted medication for a long time (I wrote this song in part to help me come to terms with that). Eventually I sought help to look beyond the wall within and be more honest about my feelings with myself and others – an ongoing exercise. 

lyrics

Trouble Up

I can’t keep my thoughts in line
Can’t keep my thoughts straight in my mind
I’m having some trouble up inside
I can’t sit still in one place
Can’t look too hard into your face
I’m having some trouble up inside

Witching hour I’m wide awake
Got bullets flying to contemplate
I’m having some trouble up inside
Scattered, desperate and confused
I bumped my head and now I’m bruised
And having some trouble up inside

I can’t keep my thoughts in line
I got trouble up inside
I can’t keep my thoughts in line
I got trouble up inside

I can’t keep my thoughts in line
Can’t keep my thoughts straight in my mind
I’m having some trouble up inside
Doctor give me pill to take
Day in day out can’t seem to fake
I’m having some trouble up inside

I can’t keep my thoughts in line
I got trouble up inside
I can’t keep my thoughts in line
I got trouble up inside

Trouble’s got me
In my mind
Trouble’s got me
All my life
Trouble’s got me
I’m trying hard to fight
This trouble up inside

I can’t keep my thoughts in line
Can’t keep my thoughts straight in my mind
I’m having some trouble up inside
I’m looking for a freedom train
But bondage in a no-win game
I’m having some trouble up inside

I cant keep my thoughts in line
I got trouble up inside
I cant keep my thoughts in line
I got trouble up inside

Trouble’s got me
In my mind
Trouble’s got me
All my life
Trouble’s got me
I’m trying hard to fight
This trouble up inside

How come

I can’t keep my thoughts in line
I can’t keep my thoughts in line
I can’t

credits

from Zahava, released September 1, 2021
Performers: J. Talsky
Writers: J. Talsky
Producer: J. Abedin
Mixed by: Kai Koschmider
Mastered by:  Joao Carvalho

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about

Jordana Talsky Toronto, Ontario

Jordana Talsky is a singer, songwriter and vocal looper.
She accompanies herself by voice with a Roland Boss RC505 loop machine. Her ethos is to incorporate digital means into live performance in an organic way, and with the loop machine, she creates a choir on the spot with no pre-recorded parts. Jordana weaves unique interpretations of covers with original material. ... more

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